It’s incredible how life’s little moments have the power to completely change the trajectory of a day. No matter what’s going on in my world—whether I’m weighed down by stress or engulfed in a cloud of sadness—there’s something magical about seeing a notification appear. A new like, a subscriber, or a glance at the previous day’s traffic statistics—each one is a tiny beacon of joy, a connection that brightens my day.
This website has grown into something far beyond what I initially envisioned. It’s my refuge, my mirror reflecting the highs and lows of my journey. Here, I share thoughts, poems, and stories, pouring pieces of myself into every post. It’s a space for creativity, exploration, and healing. There is even a place where others can submit their true stories, fictional work, or anything they want. A section is just waiting to receive the work. What started as a personal outlet has evolved into a shared experience, fostering connections and encouraging self-expression.
Perhaps most surprisingly, it has become a source of daily happiness. Even one notification—whether it’s a like or a spike in traffic—can uplift my spirits and make me smile, no matter the kind of day I’m having. It’s a reminder of how impactful a single moment can be. I know it might sound cheesy, but I genuinely believe that a smile goes a mile.
My service dog seems to understand this more than anyone. At 12 years old—well past the typical retirement age of 10—she’s still working with unwavering dedication. Her instincts are sharper than ever, and her devotion continues to amaze me. She’s the reason I feel strong enough to keep going, even when life feels overwhelming. She has even developed a habit of nudging my laptop when she senses my mood dipping, as if to remind me to check for a notification. It’s her way of reminding me that joy is just around the corner.
I am actually working with her to formalize this behavior into a task called alert. This task involves her recognizing when I’m headed toward panic attacks, emotional meltdowns, PTSD flashbacks, or other mental health struggles. Her natural behavior becomes a warning—a signal for me to step back and refocus before I spiral further. It’s similar in concept to how a seizure alert dog detects an impending seizure and prompts their human to sit or lie down for safety.
While alert is the primary task we’re focusing on, it often pairs with other supportive tasks that a service dog can provide. These include:
- Grab meds or a bottle of water: In some cases, service dogs are trained to retrieve medication or water to assist their handler during a moment of crisis.
- Lay next to the person: This provides calming reassurance and physical proximity, helping the handler feel supported and not alone.
- Get help: In severe situations, service dogs can be trained to seek assistance from others.
For me, most of these follow-up tasks aren’t as necessary since my focus is on her psych alert capabilities. The only consistent follow-up task is something she already excels at—pressure. This involves her applying gentle but firm pressure by leaning against or lying on me. It’s a grounding technique that keeps me anchored in the present and prevents emotional overwhelm.
In essence, I’m reinforcing a natural behavior and encouraging it in the moments where it’s most needed. It’s incredible to witness her instinct evolve into something so impactful for my well-being. This transformation is all because this website has such a profound effect. Those little notifications, or even the act of writing something spontaneously and pouring it from my brain to my keyboard, bring immense joy to my life.
The excitement of gaining a new subscriber is unmatched. It’s a moment that fills me with gratitude, sparking an impromptu happy dance and a quick text to my trusted confidants who know my pen name. Though it happens rarely, each new subscriber is a sign that someone found value in my work and wants to stay connected. It’s a warmth that fills me, a reassurance that my voice is reaching farther than I’d ever imagined.
Then there’s the traffic—watching the numbers, the sources, and even the locations of readers. It’s like seeing tiny footprints of those who’ve wandered through my words. Even though most of my creative writing is still in progress, knowing someone took the time to read my posts is profoundly meaningful. The darker posts—the ones where I lay bare the shadows of my past—resonate most deeply with me.
This is why the traffic to my darker posts means the most to me. It signifies that perhaps someone out there—someone who feels as lost as I once did—might find solace or a sense of shared experience in my words. That connection, however fleeting, gives my journey profound purpose and encourages them to seek help in a healthy way, unlike me, with leaving and getting beyond winning-the-lottery lucky with how I left.
Truth be told, there are days I wish I got traffic from other places beyond WordPress. It can feel frustrating watching the slow pace of growth, but I remind myself that I’ve only been at this for a relatively short time. Slow growth, I suspect, is completely normal for most websites starting out. Patience is something I’m striving to cultivate.
One of my reasons is that some of my completed work falls into mature content by WordPress’s terms of service. This means my website would be marked as such and, from my understanding, wouldn’t show up in many places, if any at all. I have a few ideas to work around this, but it’s a decision that affects how I share my work and one I haven’t fully made yet. Once I’ve reached a wider audience, I’ll feel more comfortable uploading these pieces and being marked as mature without concern. However, there’s still the lingering worry that those lonely teenagers—the ones who might need these posts most—might not be able to access them. There’s a lot to think about with this, and I want to make the best choice.
Despite this, sharing who I am brings me so much joy. As I write, I delight in learning new things about myself, which I then get to share with you, my readers. This process of discovery gives me a sense of productivity. In my 30s, I am medically retired, and it sucks. It is not all it is cracked up to be at all. I now get why my grandpa still keeps so busy with projects in his 80s. Writing, however, has brought immense improvement to my mental health. In ways I’ve rarely, if ever, experienced, I feel less alone, more connected, and more impactful.
This website is like the rez—a space where my spirit feels free to soar. I wanted to share the profound effect this journey has had on me, because as much as I hope my words touch your lives, know that they’ve already transformed mine. I know your likes, your opening of different content on my site or older posts increasing my traffic numbers, and those who follow me. You have had an impact on my life that the words “thank you” will never be enough, so I say this in Cree: nimamâhtâkosin. Cree is a descriptive language, and there are a number of words for “thank you” that fit far better for what I feel. So again, I say nimamâhtâkosin.
Your support has already touched my life in ways I can never fully express. I’d love to hear your thoughts—what brings you joy or a sense of connection in your day? How has connecting online impacted you? Feel free to leave a comment, share your story, or simply say hello. Every interaction means the world to me. Nimamâhtâkosin, my friends.”
Who am I? 
I would love to hear from you!