For me the most important things to live a good life are rather simple. Truth from those I let in, I will never judge you. It’s not just because I can miss the most obvious things; which I do, I tend to see the things under the surface when it comes to people who I let in which means I am blind as hell when it comes to the most obvious things.

Understanding is another, let’s face it I have more then my fair share of things where this is needed. I don’t judge people because of this need I have. I am different in many areas and can come off very strong when in fact I’m just excited and happy. It’s the dopamine thing I swear. Plus there is the chronic pain issue, I don’t cancel unless I must yet it gets to be more often as time goes on. Partly because it gets worse as time goes on but also partly due to the isolation it causes.

Connection. I need to feel the connection from you, this means if I’m quiet ask me why. Many don’t and it hurts because I don’t tend to say when things are bothering me unless I’m asked. I prefer to be there for others, to support them, give them all I can because this is my nature. However it has a cost, self esteem. Self esteem is already not the greatest with being neurodivergent, the way I grew up and chronic pain. I always feel like I’m complaining and bringing people down because that’s what I get told by so many I let in. I seem to have a thing for choosing assholes even when I’m being careful. Add in my desire to help others and it’s not often that I get those little boosts everyone needs.

Compassion when words are hard to find. Some days I may know the thing I want to say or write and can’t find the words needed to do so. Sometimes it’s tied to burn out, sometimes it’s tied to insomnia other times it can be a multitude of things. Sometimes all I need is one person to show this and I get a slight bump in the creative process which can set off a whole design of dominos that goes on for months. Those are the things I like the best.

This is what I need to survive, we all need the basics of life yet survival isn’t just about that. To me it’s the actions and the meaning that I need the most because that’s how I connect to people and if I don’t connect the rest is moot.