A question has been rattling around in the attic of my mind for quite some time now, like a squirrel that just won’t leave. Dopamine and AuDHD—what’s really going on there? We know dopamine is a big player in the world of ADHD, and I’ve read enough to know it’s not exactly a side character for ASD either. But what happens when someone has both? What kind of symphony—or cacophony—are we talking about in the brain of someone with AuDHD? To answer that, I did the only logical thing: I dove headfirst into the swirling vortex of medical research and personal anecdotes, armed with coffee, far too many browser tabs, and the unshakable enthusiasm of someone who clearly doesn’t know when to quit.

Medicine has always been a subject of great interest to me. The human body, with its intricate and complex mechanisms, never ceases to amaze. It can be likened to a Rube Goldberg machine, where instead of triggering simple actions, it sometimes misfires neurotransmitters, resulting in conditions such as anxiety. This exploration led me to delve deeper into various aspects. One particular area of interest is how dopamine affects individuals with AuDHD in their daily lives, relationships, and while traveling. As expected, the impact is multifaceted and complex.

An intriguing facet of AuDHD is the presence of special interests. These are intense and passionate focuses that individuals often develop towards specific subjects or activities. For someone with AuDHD, these interests can offer great joy and be a considerable source of comfort. They can range from hobbies and academic fields to niche topics or creative endeavors or in my case, medicine. Special interests can profoundly influence how individuals with AuDHD spend their time, shape their routines, and engage with the world around them.

Nevertheless, I invite you to join me in this detailed exploration, where we will uncover significant insights and perhaps encounter some amusing diversions along the way. I will try not to get to off topic, no promises though.

First, let’s talk about dopamine itself, that slippery little chemical that seems to be both a blessing and a curse. In the ADHD brain, dopamine is like the friend who says, “I’ll be there at 7,” but doesn’t show up until 7:45—if at all. It’s inconsistent, unreliable, and yet somehow still essential to the whole operation. This lack of dopamine is why the ADHD brain craves novelty and stimulation like a moth to a flame, or me to a new hyperfixation. On the ASD side, dopamine seems to play a more nuanced role. While some research suggests that dopamine pathways in autistic individuals might function differently, the picture isn’t entirely clear. What is clear is that both ADHD and ASD bring their own unique dopamine dramas to the table, and when you combine them? Oh boy, it’s like mixing two volatile chemicals and then wondering why there’s smoke. Yet again with these two.

Daily life with AuDHD and a dopamine system that’s basically running Windows 95 can be… interesting, to say the least. Imagine trying to focus on a task while your brain is running a constant internal monologue about whether it’s time for a snack, or if you should reorganize your bookshelf, or if pigeons realize they’re being watched when we stare at them. Spoiler: the answer to all of the above is yes, at least according to my brain. Dopamine dysfunction doesn’t just affect focus, though—it’s also deeply tied to motivation. For someone with AuDHD, even tasks you want to do can feel like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops. Meanwhile, the things you don’t want to do? Forget it. They might as well not exist.

Emotional regulation, or its absence, is also a key factor. Dopamine significantly influences the brain’s reward system, which directly affects emotional processing. People with AuDHD might experience intense shifts from euphoria due to hyperfocus to deep despair when unable to complete tasks like folding laundry. This variability in emotions resembles an unpredictable rollercoaster deviating from its track at times.

Individuals with AuDHD often face challenges in managing their emotions due to fluctuating levels of dopamine. This can lead to difficulties in everyday life, such as feeling overwhelmed by minor setbacks or being overly enthusiastic about small achievements. Emotional dysregulation can negatively impact relationships, work performance, and overall quality of life.

Now, let’s talk about relationships, because why not throw a little interpersonal chaos into the mix? Navigating relationships with AuDHD and a dopamine system that’s, let’s say, “quirky,” can be a challenge. On one hand, you have the ADHD side, which thrives on novelty and can make the honeymoon phase of a relationship feel like an endless dopamine high. On the other hand, the ASD side might crave consistency and routine, preferring the comfort of a well-established connection. It’s like trying to play two different games of chess on the same board, and oh, by the way, half the pieces are missing.

Communication can also be tricky. Dopamine affects how we process social cues and respond to feedback, which means that someone with AuDHD might struggle with things like remembering important dates or interpreting a partner’s tone of voice. And let’s not forget the sensory sensitivities that often come with ASD, which can turn something as simple as a hug into a complex negotiation. Despite these challenges, though, relationships aren’t impossible—they just require a bit of extra effort, patience, and probably a sense of humour. After all, if you can’t laugh at the absurdity of arguing over whether “spontaneous” means “fun” or “terrifying,” what can you laugh at?

Lets dig more into relationships in the context of AuDHD are uniquely influenced by the interplay of dopamine’s unpredictability and the dual nature of ADHD and ASD traits. At the start of a relationship, dopamine often plays a critical role, particularly in the ADHD side of the equation. The novelty and excitement of a new connection can release a flood of dopamine, creating an intense feeling of euphoria and hyperfocus on the partner. This “honeymoon phase” can be thrilling, making the relationship’s early days feel magical and all-encompassing. As mentioned before, this though plays a big part in things though and needs to always be something that all involved should be aware of. Now if only they would teach us this instead of having to deep dive research it.

However, if the influence of dopamine is not kept in mind, this initial high can lead to challenges down the road. For someone with AuDHD, the ADHD-driven craving for novelty might begin to wane as the relationship becomes routine, potentially resulting in a sense of dissatisfaction or restlessness. On the ASD side, the need for consistency and structure might clash with the unpredictability of early relationship dynamics, leading to feelings of unease or overwhelm. This can create a tension between the newness that dopamine drives and the stability that ASD seeks.

Communication and awareness are essential in navigating these early stages. Understanding how dopamine affects emotions and behaviors can help both partners approach the relationship with patience and clarity. For instance, recognizing that the initial dopamine surge is temporary can encourage a focus on building deeper, more enduring connections beyond the thrill of novelty. It’s also vital to establish routines and structures that cater to the ASD side’s preference for stability while still allowing room for the spontaneity that the ADHD side craves.

Although complex, entering into a relationship for individuals with AuDHD can be a unique and enriching experience. Through thoughtful effort and mutual understanding, the interaction of dopamine can be leveraged to establish a foundation that balances excitement with consistency. By embracing the nuances of their neurodivergent traits, individuals with AuDHD can flourish in relationships that appreciate both their unpredictability and need for dependable connection. However, it is important to exercise caution initially, as the influence of dopamine may obscure potential challenges.

Being cautious at the beginning of a relationship helps ensure that both parties fully understand each other’s needs and boundaries, preventing any unexpected issues from arising. Delaying the first meeting can also be beneficial, as it allows time for both individuals to communicate and build trust at a comfortable pace, and ensures that any initial excitement does not overshadow the fundamental compatibility and connection required for a sustainable relationship.

Additionally, delaying the first meeting provides an opportunity to assess emotional readiness and personal intentions without the pressure of immediate physical interaction. It can help prevent rushed judgments and allow time for thoughtful reflection about the relationship’s future. This period of delay also aids in recognizing and addressing any red flags or areas of concern, promoting a safer and more stable progression toward a meaningful and lasting connection. Moreover, it gives both parties a chance to develop coping strategies for managing the unpredictable nature of dopamine levels, thereby fostering a healthier dynamic in the long run.

Then there’s travel. Oh, travel. The ultimate test of patience, adaptability, and whether or not you remembered to pack your charger. For someone with AuDHD, traveling can be both exhilarating and exhausting. The ADHD side loves the novelty, the excitement, the endless stream of new stimuli. The ASD side, meanwhile, might balk at the lack of routine, the sensory overload, and the sheer unpredictability of it all. It’s like having two passengers in the same car, one of whom wants to take every detour and the other who just wants to know when they’ll get there already.

Dopamine plays a big role here, too. It’s involved in how we process risk and reward, which means that someone with AuDHD might find themselves alternating between impulsive decisions (let’s book a last-minute flight to Tokyo!) and paralyzing indecision (but what if the hotel mattresses are too soft?). Add in the sensory sensitivities and executive dysfunction that often come with ASD and ADHD, and you’ve got a recipe for a travel experience that’s equal parts thrilling and overwhelming. Pro tip: noise-canceling headphones are your best friend, as is a detailed itinerary with some built-in downtime. Once again the nature of the two conflict with each other. No wonder I burn out from time to time even if I don’t feel like I have been doing that much. Yeesh. The more I learn the more I see how my brain fights itself, I laugh most of the time and embrace it. Yet there are days where it is hard. You can see it here on my website over the past few days.

As I delved deeper into this rabbit hole of dopamine and AuDHD, I found myself marveling at the sheer complexity of it all. It’s not just about neurotransmitters or brain pathways—it’s about how those things manifest in real, messy, wonderfully chaotic lives. It’s about the moments of triumph, like finishing a project you thought you’d never manage, and the moments of defeat, like realizing you’ve been hyperfixating on the wrong thing for three hours. It’s about the joy of discovering a new interest and the frustration of not being able to sustain it. It’s about learning to navigate a brain that’s wired differently, and finding ways to thrive in a world that often feels like it was designed with someone else in mind.

So, what did I learn from all this? Well, for one, dopamine is a tricky little molecule that seems to delight in making life both fascinating and complicated. For another, living with AuDHD is anything but boring. It’s a constant balancing act, a dance between chaos and order, novelty and routine, impulsivity and caution. But it’s also a reminder of the incredible adaptability and resilience of the human brain. Sure, it might not always work the way we want it to, but it’s ours, and that’s something worth celebrating. Though it would be nice to be taught this stuff not just medicated or sent on our way or both. I have t-shirts for this club. Honestly I learn more from Instagram, it tells me a fair bit about things and gives me a point to start digging at with my deep dives. It is sad when I am learning more about myself online then I do from the so called professionals. Though we all know those professionals and I do not always get along. Give you a hint, we ask why and need to understand. It is not that uncommon of a trait, just a vastly misunderstood one…. Hmmm maybe I should dig more into this trait… see ya!

Oh yea, if nothing else, at least I’ve got a great excuse for forgetting to fold the laundry or where I put my keys this time.