Today I woke up with a wicked migraine. If it wasn’t for a medical appointment in a few hours I would go back to sleep after taking meds. Having a head that hates you especially when the weather changes quickly sucks. Though this morning I remembered to grab breakfast lol if you can call one of those meal replacement drinks food.
I just want to lay in bed today and imagine what life would be like if I had never got in that car accident. I would not be worrying about my rent increasing soon to something I can not afford on disability. As it is affording to eat once a day can be a struggle. I will never understand why the pension plan I payed into because I was lucky enough to work gets taken off of my AISH. They limit what we can make so badly it is not funny. Worse if you have a partners as far as they are concerned that is. Their income impacts your own income and when your in a situation where you live in your room and wait as long as you can to leave to go bathroom or eat when your roommate is home because your scared how he will gaslight you today or if he will go further, well it doesn’t help with the migraines or depression. Days like today I spend in a fair amount of tears because I just want to be happy and write as well as tend my plants. Is that to much to ask? Apparently as far as AISH is concerned it is. I am literally stuck and well I have heard nightmares about roommates and I don’t want that. I hate change as it is so to have to move places and get a roommate that I do not know at all is scary. Today is a bad day because when I wake with my head hurting it seems to want to yell at me even more about the things that stress me out and creates a spiral that is so hard to climb out of. It also slows down the writing process as well that’s for sure. One day things will change and hopefully sooner then later because it’s a day of elastic bands on the wrist again. I just want to curl up and cry but what does that do besides make my head hurt worse? Nothing. Instead I can work on getting this out there and my writing so that I can fight my way out of this hell I live in right now. Then I can find a small place in the country and be a happier woman. One day it will happen because I refuse to give up. Even if today I want to.
5 responses to “Navigating Life’s Challenges: Migraine, Depression, and Hope”
-
-
-
I believe it too – I imagine the rooms, but mostly the garden, what I will plant, the chair I will sit on, the fresh air smell… like you, it helps calm me down, slide past the pain and into sleep. It makes me happy to know I’m not alone (although of course it also makes me sad!) we’ll manifest together – believing is halfway there! L xx
-
well put. i have a love for semihydroponics so currently it is what would my writing and art project room look like and where would i put what plants. Last night it was a bunch of monstara and pothose which will climb the walls but the aireal roots wont damage most paint. besides the place will be mine so i could make it so i have living walls. there are some that are great for migraines, sleep, soothing, breathing, controlling moisture etc lol i think i might know to much about plants.
Makes me sad as well that we are not alone however stronger because of the not alone part. It’s like the saying of two sides to every coin. It was why i started to blog and then that got my writing kick started and well lol you have seen where that has lead in a week alone ROFL. So i have to say thank you for your blog as it helps me greatly as well. xx
-
-
Who am I? 
Leave a reply to Siearra Frost Cancel reply