The Pain Parade

Last night was a real doozy. I often write about migraines because they love to crash my it’s a good day party. When migraines team up with other pains, like hip pain from a torn labrum, it’s like a pain parade that just won’t quit. Writing or reading sometimes helps, and occasionally chatting with someone who gets it can be a lifesaver. Today has been a tough one thanks to the pain. As a side sleeper, I’m supposed to avoid sleeping on the side with the labrum tear or on my back, kinda hard when each side has tears and microfractures. Years ago, a physiotherapist and I discovered that lying on my back, instead of rotating between the three reduced the pain and kept me functional without needing narcotics. Not ideal, but it worked. Training my body to stay in that position while asleep? That’s a whole other challenge.

Pillow Experiments and Weather Woes

I’ve tried all sorts of pillows and foam wedges, and I finally found one that mostly works. It has contours for each leg to keep me on my back. But sometimes, I still will find a way to sleep on my side without realizing it until morning or a few hours into my day. Last night was one of those worst-case scenarios, though it’s been a while since it was this bad, so I guess that’s something.

Weather changes or bedroom temperature shifts often mess with my hips. The bigger the change, the worse the pain. It starts as a deep, throbbing ache and quickly turns into a sharp, stabbing sensation, making movement unbearable. With my hips, it leads to increased instability in my balance which means more delightful falls. The pain is physically and mentally draining, sometimes leading to migraines, especially when it is related to the weather as that is a trigger for those party crashers. Last night, I woke up after two and a half hours of sleep to intense pain. Walking and getting out of bed were tough, even with forearm crutches. It took several attempts just to get off the bed. This part really damages self worth and self esteem. Each step sent pain through my thigh and lower back as my body tried to compensate. After about twenty steps, the muscles on the opposite side started to help, but my balance was off, and falls were common.

The Cool Water Trick and Nausea

Vomiting can be so violent it causes lack of oxygen, leading to migraines or blackouts. I discovered a neat trick to make the discomfort less severe. It might sound odd, but trust me, it works. Cool water, not cold, but cool. Drink as much as you can. It helps with dry heaves and reduces the burning sensation. It also feels better coming back up. I discovered this trick after drinking too much one night, most of us have over done the drinking once or twice lol. Now I keep a plastic bottle in the bathroom for this purpose.

However, this trick doesn’t stop the nausea, which makes taking oral anti-nausea meds like Gravol difficult. If your body rejects the meds within half an hour, it’s usually safe to retake the dose. A handy bit of information my pharmacist taught me. This still makes it hard to treat the root cause of the nausea. I can give myself an injection of Toradol thanks to my medical training, but I don’t keep the supplies in the bathroom for obvious reasons. I keep a variety of pain pills in a bottle in a plastic bag in the bathroom. The challenge is getting them into the gut and keeping them there long enough, especially since some of these pills have nausea as a side effect.

Bathroom Agony and Enduring the Pain

Sitting on the bathroom floor is agony on my hips and back, so while this is going on, that pain is building and expanding. When I’m on my knees, the spikes of pain feel like a red-hot ice pick deep into my hip, which can lead to balance issues with any movement afterward ok ok it does lead to balance issues, I know it to well with any form of kneeling. I can try and ignore certain things, doesn’t work but some days keeps you sane. So, the cause of the dash to the bathroom is being increased. How do you deal with that one? One way is warm, moist heat, so a towel and hot water help. However, that gets cold real fast in a bathroom. I don’t think any bathroom is really known for being anything but cold, which adds another layer of sensory input. Most times, I am lucky enough that my ASD doesn’t join the party. Sadly, it is probably because it happens often enough that my body expects the sensory input.

When experiencing severe pain, addressing the root cause can be challenging. Administering Toradol may not be feasible if it is not stored in an accessible location and injecting it into the muscle while shaking from pain is inadvisable. Based on my experience, enduring the pain seems to be the only viable option. Utilizing a yoga mat stored in the bathroom closet for lying down can provide some comfort. While it is generally recommended to lie on one’s side when feeling nauseous, that is counterproductive for me. Increases the pain in the original source of the perfect storm brewing.

Managing pain loops is particularly difficult. As someone who has dealt with this repeatedly, I acknowledge the complexity involved. Unfortunately, enduring the discomfort, the pain well it becomes necessary. If anyone has suggestions on how to better manage these pain loops, I would greatly appreciate your input!

Medication Routine and Roommate Assistance

Once I am able to keep the additional antinausea medication down, which is on top of my regular nightly antinausea medication to reduce this symptom, I can then take pain medication. Typically, I skip my usual treatment steps and use hydromorphone to address severe pain immediately. This is done to interrupt the pain cycle. I alternate it with T4 to ensure continuous pain management for at least 24 hours during intense flare-ups. The pain cycle resembles a malfunctioning light switch; it requires thorough intervention to reset, which can take weeks to fully resolve. However, the cycle may recur unpredictably based on the extent of the problem within the light switch mechanism.

Last night, I spent over nine hours in the bathroom. This requires moving when my roommate needs to use the bathroom. He assists me into the hall and ensures I have a bucket, then helps me return. Despite careful handling, this movement increases the pain. If he were trained to administer Toradol, it might solve many issues and possibly reduce discomfort. He knows I could train him easily. Extended bathroom time disrupts sleep and lowers mental defenses, allowing negative thoughts to arise, which are even more difficult to manage if resisted. This situation worsens medical conditions, leading to severe migraines, and even drinking cool water doesn’t sufficiently hydrate me, exacerbating the issue. Pain medication typically causes sedation due to the required dosage, and Hydromorphone allows for gradual dosage adjustment, making overdose unlikely when administered correctly. Shock can cause hand tremors, complicating the administration of Toradol. Initial muscle compensation and guarding can become problematic if prolonged. Topical cream provides temporary relief, enabling administration of Toradol upon waking for the next medication dose while drinking cool water to maintain hydration. Gloves are worn to avoid the smell from the cream, which requires multiple washes to remove. Despite the challenges, you can look at this as win-win instead of lose-lose.

Cannabis Considerations and Small Victories

In short, last night was nine hours of hell before I could even start the first step of getting things under control, nine hours when my body wanted sleep and then wants it even more cause it’s getting more tired. This makes it hard to think on what the next step is as each minute ticks by. So even with my medical training being so extensive it has become instinctive I can’t keep it straight. I have the steps in a binder to help me for different types of storms. Maybe one day I will share those instructions for those who want to talk to their Dr about trying some of those things out. Now if your in a country where you can get cannabis legally even if it is only by prescription that you can have it legally this can be your best friend cause it is kinda hard to throw up that one in a few of it’s forms. It can calm each of these issues depending on the strain. Perfect storms like last night though would require multiple strains at once, still trying to figure out how to manage that one without over doing it and feeling yuck from that. Plus how do you store it in the bathroom where your going to need it? Then there is the responsible use of it and being able to prove it as well. That get’s to be a full on delight. NOT. It takes work. Maybe that is another ‘my storm treatments’ sheets I should write up. I live in Canada, however they have limits on how much you can have on your person and in your home. It is why I still work with a prescription, I get to carry far more in both areas if I so choose.

In countries where cannabis is legally available, including by prescription, it can be beneficial as it is harder for the body to reject depending on its form. It can address multiple issues depending on the strain. Complex situations like last night might require multiple strains simultaneously, and I am still figuring out how to manage this without overdoing it and experiencing adverse effects. Storing it in the bathroom for easy access and ensuring responsible use requires careful consideration. This might warrant creating another guide on storm treatments.

I reside in Canada, where there are limits on the amount of cannabis one can possess at home or carry. This is why I continue to use a prescription, which allows me to carry larger quantities if necessary. It also is for legal purposes if needed. Frequent use vs casual use affects tolerance and increases the tolerance level meaning more can be taken before being impaired. Tracking every dose and the reason for said dose as accurately as possible is important not only for you to learn what works best for you but also proves responsible use and reasonable possibilities for false positives because even when the cannabis is long gone effect-wise trace amounts will always remain with high frequency of use.

I became distracted again, which is common following a difficult night. There is a desire to connect in any way, leading to changing topics or sharing personal information with individuals whom I initially believe are receptive, until they are not. This behavior manifests in various forms and does not involve discussing the pain directly, as I prefer to avoid thinking about it. Sharing here with all of you may help me not lean on these individuals who do not get what I am doing and their importance. As well as the trust I have in them to go to them in the hard times. Consequently, these individuals may not understand the significant role they play during my most challenging times. Sharing these thoughts with all of you may alleviate the burden on those I trust, preventing them from experiencing negative consequences, or deciding to walk away cause I share to much. A difficult night not only leaves one physically exhausted and in severe discomfort but also affects one’s mental state more profoundly than one might realize. You have to have an outlet of some kind, and someone to listen. Even if you have to make yourself vulnerable to strangers instead of those you wish you could in your life.

I have learned that fighting against these storms, whether perfect or otherwise, often exacerbates the situation. Instead, I allow them to run their course, utilizing available coping mechanisms. Fighting the storm places additional strain on one’s body in various ways. Similar to how one is less likely to be injured if they do not resist a fall or remain relaxed during a collision, the same applies to chronic pain management. In this context, I have Identified pain as the core issue. I have developed strategies to Adapt to it, although the implementation details are still lacking, signifying that I have Overcome this challenge. (Identify, Adapt, Overcome. Three life saving words.) Overcoming an issue does not mean it disappears or ceases to impact one’s life. Overcoming, in this case, means making it somewhat easier on my body, enabling quicker recovery. It entails exerting only the necessary effort. By reaching the stage of overcoming, one effectively wins the battle. However, winning the war is a separate matter entirely.

Chronic pain continues to affect my life more than desired and will always necessitate adjustments. It can lead to canceled plans and confinement at home, preventing me from engaging in activities I desire or need to do. Engaging in social activities is essential, as humans are inherently social beings. I ache for that play, the connection, the affection that you get when with others, there are times when I have to go so long that it can make me feel unworthy of such. This is why it is important to have patience and find the right people, who get this stuff isn’t a choice and suggest ways to help instead of saying “contact me when you want to hang out”. Saying things like that breaks a person’s spirt as it comes off as rejection and makes you feel like your unworthy of human contact.

Despite experiencing a migraine caused by various factors today, I have chosen to remain active rather than succumb to the agony. My determination has enabled me not to let pain dominate my entire day. Although I had to cancel plans and defer certain desires, I consider this a victory. It is important to acknowledge these small victories, as they prevent the pain from prevailing. Even if it makes playing harder to accomplish and often makes you feel like your home is a form of incarceration instead of being a home.

While it would be beneficial to have someone offer support and compassion during these challenging times—someone who understands the indescribable nature of my pain and does not judge—I still regard today as a triumph. I managed to move off the bathroom floor, alleviate the pain slightly, and accomplish the task of turning on my computer and writing this. Today, I achieved one of the goals I set for myself, and that is something worth recognizing. Every single time, every single goal reached in these days.

Many people perceive me as strong; however, I respectfully disagree with this notion. I have endured numerous hardships and developed coping mechanisms to navigate through challenging times. Although I may often falter, it is rarely visible. Therefore, celebrating small victories becomes crucial for my wellbeing. If I didn’t celebrate the small things, the weight of everything would crush me fast, it already is hard enough to bare without wanting to give up.

The Victory Jar

To manage these difficult periods, I focus on recognizing minor achievements. I have started writing them down on pieces of paper, folding them, and placing them in a jar. When I look at that jar, it signifies numerous successes. I see strength reflected in that jar. My aspiration is to eventually fill an entire wall with such jars, symbolizing my progress and perseverance over time. Occasionally, I open the jar and retrieve a note to remind myself of a past victory.

Do you have any tips or tricks for managing severe pain and nausea? I’d love to hear your suggestions. Leave a comment and let’s discuss!

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