Ah, the little penguin. Yes, you heard that right: little penguin. Not emperor penguin, not rockhopper, not royal or whatever other overly majestic names penguins seem to get. No, this one is simple, honest, and adorable. I stumbled upon these little wonders purely by accident while I was in the depths of an internet rabbit hole (yes I like rabbits) about flying foxes. A casual click here, a “what’s that?” moment there, and suddenly, bam! Little penguins. My life hasn’t been the same since.

Now, let me tell you when I first saw them, I thought, “What sorcery is this? Are these real?” Because these guys don’t just look like penguins shrunk in a washing machine; they *are* the smallest penguins in existence. Standing at a whopping 30 to 33 centimetres tall, yes, that’s less than a foot, if you’re wondering, they’re like the toddler version of penguins. They’re also called fairy penguins, which is fitting because they seem like something out of a storybook, except they’re real and, unfortunately, not available for adoption. Not that I haven’t Googled “how to domesticate a little penguin.” Spoiler alert: not a great idea.

Here’s the kicker: these tiny tuxedoed charmers are native to Australia and New Zealand. Yes, Down Under strikes again, casually hoarding some of the world’s most unique creatures. I mean, it already has kangaroos that box, koalas that look permanently stoned, and emus that once won a war against humans (look it up). Now they’ve got tiny penguins? It’s almost unfair. These little waddling nuggets of joy mostly hang out on the southern coastlines, where they live in burrows during the day and head out to sea at night to splash around and snack on fish. You know, like tiny feathered vampires, but way cuter.

Did you know they sometimes travel in groups called “rafts” when they’re out hunting? I can’t decide whether that’s adorable or I’m jealous because I also want to form a raft with my friends and casually float around snacking on sushi. And when they head back to shore? Oh, my goodness. It’s the most charming parade you’ll ever see. Each night, they waddle back to their burrows in small armies, looking like they’re late for a black-tie event. There’s even an actual “penguin parade” you can watch on Phillip Island in Australia. People literally gather to witness this grand slow march, and honestly, I think it might be the most wholesome thing humanity has ever done.

But let’s talk about their personalities because these little guys are not just cute, they’re feisty. I watched a video (several videos, actually, let’s not lie, I ended up on YouTube and we have seen where that can lead hours later) where one little penguin squared up against a seagull like it was defending its honour. It puffed up its tiny chest, made angry little squawking noises, and chased the much larger bird away. Iconic behaviour. I aspire to have that level of confidence over something as trivial as a fish.

Now, here’s where things get interesting, or chaotic, depending on your perspective. While I was daydreaming about having a little penguin as a pet (don’t worry, I’ll circle back to the flying fox later), I realized my cat would probably not approve. I mean, my cat barely tolerates me half the time, and I feed her. So, imagine introducing a small, flightless bird into the household. Would they fight? Would they form some kind of cross-species alliance to overthrow me? The possibilities are endless, and mildly terrifying. I can picture it now: the cat knocking things off shelves while the penguin waddles around in solidarity, leaving fishy footprints everywhere. Chaos incarnate.

Speaking of chaos, let me tell you about their calling noises. These tiny creatures make sounds that are… well, not what you’d expect from something so small and cute. It’s this raspy, almost donkey-like braying, which is why they’re sometimes called “little blue donkeys.” You think you’re about to hear a delicate chirp or maybe a gentle coo, and then BAM! They unleash this guttural honk that sounds like they’ve been smoking cigars and drinking whiskey in a back alley. It’s startling, hilarious, and, honestly, a little endearing. I’d probably get used to it after a week, maybe.

Now, back to the flying fox. How, you ask, did I end up searching for information on a bat when I discovered these little tuxedoed wonders? Good question. You see, flying foxes are big bats that look like they belong in a Disney villain’s lair. I stumbled upon a picture of one and thought, “Wow, what a dramatic creature.” Naturally, my curiosity spiralled, as it often does when I’m procrastinating, and I started researching nocturnal animals. One thing led to another, and there they were: little penguins. It was like the universe saying, “You’ve had enough bat content for the day. Here’s something to make you forget that flying foxes exist.” And boy, did it work.

But let me just say, while bats are cool and all, little penguins have stolen my heart. If I had to rank nocturnal creatures, they’d be at the top of the list, just above raccoons (who are absolute chaos gremlins, but that’s a story for another day). The little penguin is like the ultimate package: cute, sassy, and surprisingly resilient for its size. They deal with predators like foxes and large birds, not to mention the occasional human tourist who gets too close with their phone cameras. Yet they persist, waddling their way through life like tiny black-tie warriors.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t spend way too much time imagining what life would be like with a little penguin buddy. Would it sit beside me while I work, staring judgmentally at my typos? Would it eat popcorn while we watch documentaries about other penguins? The possibilities are endless, and while I know keeping one as a pet is highly impractical (and probably illegal), it’s fun to dream.

In conclusion, or whatever this chaotic ramble is, little penguins are a delightful surprise I didn’t know I needed in my life. They’re like a tiny, flippered reminder that the world is full of fascinating creatures, many of which are just a few clicks away on the internet. So, the next time you’re deep diving into nocturnal animals, keep an eye out. You might just stumble upon your next obsession. And who knows? Maybe one day I’ll even make it to Phillip Island to witness the parade of these pint-sized marvels in person. Until then, I’ll be here, pretending my cat isn’t plotting against me and daydreaming about a life filled with little blue donkeys and flying foxes. Truly, what a time to be alive. What animal should I write about next? My mind needs more information however are we really all that surprised given I am AuDHD? I’m not lol